The Voice of Leadership: Speaking as an Expression of Being

As a child, my parents used to tell me: “Children are meant to be seen—not heard.” So, I learned early on to keep quiet, to suppress my voice, and to not share my true feelings about things so that I wouldn’t make people (adults) around me feel uncomfortable. For me, like many others, silence was a learned survival mechanism.

For many years, I didn’t like the sound of my voice. As early as middle school, I would modulate my expression to not “sound gay.” At the time, I didn’t even know if I was gay, but kids around me sure seemed insistent on telling me I was. And by the time I realized that I probably was gay, I had learned a great deal about why it was important to keep that quiet.

I believed it wasn’t safe to share what was true inside of me with anyone.

So, I kept my mouth shut. For nearly a decade.

The funny thing was, I was a singer. I sung in my church choir since I was a little boy and I even directed the choirs at my church for four years when I was a teenager. I used to be hired to cantor (sing solo) at masses at a number of parishes and I loved leading people in praise and worship.

I realized, only a few years ago, that I actually was using my voice to hide myself. I was literally in front of hundreds of people each week, singing to God, but hiding a huge-ass secret.

In my early twenties, I was collapsing under the weight of what I was not saying. It wasn’t just my sexuality, but so many things that I was keeping from others. How many times I excuse people for behaving like assholes to me? How many times did I swallow nasty comments? How many times did I deny my own emotions just to support others through their problems? How many times did I keep quiet so I didn’t upset others around me? Frankly, I cannot fathom the number, but it does make my head spin thinking about it.

In 2018, my internal battle with the church led me to leave and, essentially, removed me from singing in any formal capacity. Aside from the shower concerts and car karaoke, I didn’t have much of an outlet for singing anymore.

We Create Through Our Voices

As human beings, we create through our words. Thoughts create ideas which, we express as words, which carry a vibration in the quantum field. Quite literally, our words create the entire experience of our lives. The vibration of that which we express manifests physically in the world.

Everything you see was once an idea…and then it was expressed.

The use of our voices creates everything in our reality.

(And I can say, that keeping quiet for over a decade creates a living hell within you.)

Everything begins with the use of our voices. Our very first act on this planet is using our voices to cry. It is the beginning of our human experience.

This spiritual Truth has even been expressed in the gospel of John in the bible.

John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

Our voice is a tool of creation. Words are the foundation of all meaning and all creation as humans. Through our voices, we are God’s instrument of creation on the planet.

How Leaders Use Their Voices

We live in a world where, unfortunately, many people that we have in positions of authority (I would hardly call them leaders), use words to sow division, chaos, uncertainty, and manipulation of the masses. In so many instances, their words are used as weapons to destroy rather than create.

Whoever said, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me” was dead wrong. While yes, hard objects can break your bones, words can cut through spirit. Words can influence consciousness. Words are the basis of all beliefs. Words, for humans, are the scaffolding of our lives. They matter immensely.

So yes, words can hurt you. They can manipulate you. They can imprison you in a hellish web of lies.

But they also can heal.

Words Can Heal

A lot of my personal healing over the past few years has been around my voice. Around accepting my gifts of expression. Around accepting that I was gifted with a singing voice that needs to be shared. Around ignoring all the voices around me that taught me to be afraid. Remembering that my voice matters.

Last March, I returned to a new church and joined the choir. (This is part of a much longer story that I’ll probably share in the future). But suffice to say that returning to singing has unlocked so many things within me that I didn’t realize I had silenced for over five years.

Creativity. Joy. Peace. Love. Connection. Inspiration. Prayer.

Tune Into Your Voice

As leaders, we are being called to use our voices consciously. The world needs us to use our voices for good. The world needs us to create.

The work for you and me is to close out all the other voices in your head so that you can deeply listen and tune into your own. Let it lead you from your Being.

The next evolution of leadership isn’t louder—it’s cleaner. Less performance. Less proving. Less persuasion. More truth. More coherence. More integrity. The kind of leadership that heals doesn’t come from perfect messaging. It comes from a person who has stopped abandoning themselves in the moment they speak.

If you’ve been silencing yourself—editing, shrinking, swallowing, spiritualizing your anger, softening your truth so other people can stay comfortable—consider this your invitation back. Start small. Speak one honest truth you’ve been avoiding. Say the thing with love, but say it authentically. Your voice is not just sound. It’s creation.

The most powerful leadership you’ll ever offer is the truth you’re finally willing to say.

And if you want a space to practice this—without force, without performance, and without having to do it alone—this is part of why I created the Soul Purpose Collective. It’s a temple-like space for grounding, self-inquiry, and conscious leadership development, where we learn to return to Being and let our lives be shaped from that place.

(PS: If you’re curious…the following video is a recording of my solo with the choir at this past Sunday’s mass.)